


Flutter

by hernamewasalice



Series: Fluff + Angst [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is a Mess, Ben is pushing 40, Crushes, Divorce, Dry Humping, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Modern Era, Older Man/Younger Woman, Parenthood, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey is 18, Single Dad Ben, Single Parents, Sneaking Around, inappropriate crush, pushover dad ben
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:21:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22386382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hernamewasalice/pseuds/hernamewasalice
Summary: In which newly divorced Ben Solo has an inappropriate crush on his teenaged daughter's new friend who happens to be eighteen.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Fluff + Angst [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1622881
Comments: 80
Kudos: 278





	1. Ben

**Author's Note:**

> IDK what I DID  
> /  
> Ben is pushing 40. Rey is 18 and friends with his daughter.  
> /  
> experimental writing

What Not to Do, an instruction manual by Ben Solo.

 _One, don't ever get married without having a prenup._ Ben had to learn this the hard way. Luckily, he had enough evidence to prove his ex wife was unfaithful to not have his entire life savings down the drain.

 _Two, if your partner is unfaithful don't waste your time in saving the marriage. It never works._ Ben wasted ten years trying to save his damn marriage. He should have left when he first caught her and not after the fifth time.

 _Three, don't marry a woman who doesn't give a fuck about their own fucking child._ That's a red flag. He should have known that his ex wife was only after his money. Don't marry a woman who eagerly gives you full custody without a fight.

 _Four, it's okay to want to start all over and want something new._ Don't stay in the fucking same town where everyone knows everybody's business. It'll only make you even more miserable.

_Five, it's okay to want to find someone and fall in love. Your child(ren) will understand._

_Six, make sure that your child(ren) feel(s) loved._ Make sure they never forget it.

**Seven, don't fuck up number five.**

Divorces are long and messy and it takes nearly three fucking years for the divorce to finalize. Ben won't go in detail on why it took that long but in short, it's more complicated when you own a practice and also inherited property from your family. He's relieved when it's finally over. Not for his sake but for his daughter's. Lucy was fourteen at the start of the process and now she was seventeen. It was a lot for a child to go through. It was a lot for a child that's enough to understand. Her mother just gave Lucy away, didn't even request for joint custody. Ben didn't just lose three years of his life, so did Lucy.

Lucy lost three years of her fleeting youth.

When it was over, Lucy was happy too. She stopped crying about her parents not being together anymore a long time ago.

Ben decided that it was best for them to move and start all over.

And so they did.

At first Lucy resented him for this decision. Ben notified her about it a year advance before they moved. He wanted her to prepare herself. She's almost okay with it now that they're finally moved in. They moved in to his mother's house and also known as, his old childhood home. It only felt right. During the three years of going through hell, his father passed away and his mother was unable to be in the house anymore. It brought back too many memories so she moved out.

Lucy's almost okay with living here. He couldn't help but to feel guilty for moving his daughter two hundred miles away from the place she lived her whole life. It makes it worse that she's entering her senior year in high school as a new student. She can't really enjoy her senior year when all her friends were back in their old town.

Ben gets her a new cellphone and that somewhat helps with her adjusting.

When school does start for her, it doesn't go well. He can tell by the way she's storming inside and yelling that she hates him. It makes him despise himself whenever she tells him that. He doesn't like seeing his daughter sad. He put her through a lot with the divorce and now this. Ben reaches for a beer to calm his nerves.

It wouldn't even matter, Lucy's going to go to a faraway college soon.

* * *

Five, it's okay to want to find someone and fall in love.

Seven, don't fuck up number five.

It should be illegal for him to find his daughter's first friend from her new school attractive. He feels guilty for feeling this way. He'll never act on it or anything. This girl was way to young for him. He was pushing forty and this girl was also his daughter's friend.

His daughter's friend is eighteen if that makes the situation any better. She's in the same grade due to the school district birthday cut off, just like what? Six or seven months older than his daughter? God Ben could have had her too.

She's always here at the house now, Rey.

Ben keeps his distance from her.

It doesn't exactly help that he can tell that Lucy's friend has an obvious crush on him. Rey's always turning pink whenever he's in the same room as her. She's always stammering and looking all too adorable with those big hazel eyes of hers. If only she was older and not his daughter's friend. Rey was not at all a femme fatale. She has this wholesome look, something he's not used to liking.

She's thin and flat with little to no curves. She's always covered up with sweaters and jeans, something he wishes Lucy would do as well. She doesn't try to look older. Doesn't even wear makeup. What attracts him to her is how small she is and those big doe eyes of hers. So beautiful and perfect. There was a certain sweetness to this girl, something he's never experienced in any woman. If she was older he would devour her.

And she knows this, knows this for a fact.

He can feel it.

She always bite her fingernails whenever he stops by the kitchen to quickly grab a beer as she and his daughter study together. He'll always sneak little peeks at her. He admires her cheekbones, her jawline, everything. If she was older, he would definitely fuck her. He wouldn't though, would never. He doesn't want to ruin his relationship with his daughter or ruin Rey. He's not a pedophile. He's never been attracted to his daughter's friends before. Rey's already eighteen when he meets her but he still feels like a pedophile.

He knows that his feelings for this teenager was inappropriate.

So Ben keeps his distance.

Rey and Ben don't talk or anything. They hardly say a word to one another. The only time they do is to say 'excuse me.' She's only here to do homework with his daughter and their other friends. Sometimes he'll even ask if they want him to order them some food. Even though they don't say much, he has such a strong sense of Rey's character. She's polite and very level headed. Ben's thankful that his daughter has a good friend instead of a bad influence.

"Why do you and your friends always spend time at our house?" he asks one day.

Lucy rolled her eyes.

"I'm not saying it's a bad thing it's just I'm wondering that's all."

"Well my friends don't exactly have the best homes."

Ben blinked. He knew exactly what she met. "Even Rey?" he hates how raspy his voice is when he thinks about that girl.

"Especially Rey. That's why she's here the most."

Until late at night.

"Why do you care?" Lucy snapped. She sounded annoyed. Lucy was at the age where she despised every single thing that he did.

"No reason I'm just curious that's all," he responded calmly. He glosses over his daughter's attitude. He paused and thinks about all the times Rey is covered up. She must not have a safe home. Maybe that's why she's always nervous around him. She's not used to being around fathers who didn't hit. "Tell her that she's always welcomed here."

Lucy crossed her arms and huffed. "I'm sorry I'm not the perfect daughter that you always wanted. I'm sorry I'm not Rey."

Ben laughs instantly. That was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. "I don't want Rey as a daughter." He certainly doesn't. "I have a perfect girl as it is," he reassured his daughter. There was no reason for Lucy to feel insecure. He tries to touch Lucy's hair but she shrugs him away. Ben sighed. It's only a phase, he reminded himself.

* * *

The first time that Ben actually talks to Rey is not on a light note. He comes home late at night from work to see Lucy comforting her. His heart stops. Rey's crying. "Dad, can Rey stay for a night?" Lucy begs.

Ben unbuttons his coat. "What's going on?"

His face fell when he sees Rey pull away from Lucy's shoulder. Her pretty face is all bruised up in shades of purple and black. Her lip is busted and dripping in puss and blood. "Who did this to you?" he's growling at the sight.

"Dad - please don't do anything," Lucy held her breath.

Ben ignores her daughter and cups Rey's chin. He lowers himself to her height and inspects her. "Did your father do this?"

The girl nods slowly and then pulls away. "I'm f-fine," she rasped. She forces herself to smile.

"You can stay for the night. I'll talk to your father tomorrow." He holds out his hand for her. She takes it instinctively.

Lucy follows behind them. Ben takes Rey to the bathroom and tends to her. Rey's still and he can tell that she's never been touched with care before. He was a doctor and so naturally he knew how to treat a patient. Her eyes flickered and his heart fluttered.

"Dad please don't get involved!" Lucy begs again. "This isn't your business -

"This girl's in my house all battered up," his tone is firm. "It is my business now."

"Please don't. Rey has nowhere else to go. There's nothing you can do. She's already eighteen."

* * *

Rey doesn't want to a file a case on her dad.

She absolutely refuses even though Ben can sense this wasn't the first time that her father has done this.

So Ben takes her in at least. It wasn't much trouble at all. He had a spare room anyways.

There was nothing much her father could do. Rey was eighteen and her father couldn't exactly press charges or report a missing persons case. Rey was an adult despite being in high school still. Even if her father did, he would only incriminate himself. But Rey living with him was the last thing Ben wanted to do. He's trying to kill off his teenage boy hormones and the last thing he needed was her around even more.

They still keep their distance.

He expected on having another child to tend to but to his surprise, Rey wasn't like that. She was really self reliant. She helps around the house without being asked. Ben was hopeful Lucy would be influenced but to his dismay that wasn't the case. Rey even cooks for them too. Ben can't remember the last time he had a home cooked meal. She doesn't feel like a child, she feels like a very helpful roommate. Rey was very mature for her age.

It only feels weird whenever he was alone with Rey. There are some weekends where Lucy is out with her other friends and doesn't think of inviting Rey. Ben can't blame his daughter though. He understands that living with your best friend can be too much and space was healthy.

When Lucy is away, Rey mainly stays inside the spare room. Sometimes Rey joins him in the living room and watches a movie with him.

That's when it feels weird.

He ached to sit closer to her. Sometimes he makes up excuses to touch her face again. Anything to see those big doe eyes of her widen even more. Anything to feel the heat of her pink cheeks. He always tell her that he wants to just check up on her bruises but those bruises healed long ago. They're watching some Oscar nominated movie. He doesn't remember the name or know what's going on exactly. The dialogue is too artsy and obscure for him to comprehend. It just sounds like Shakespeare on meth. He feels really old because Rey's invested in the film.

All he can do was watch her. She was sitting on the opposite end of the couch, hugging her legs and watching intently.

He cracks his knuckles before reaching for his beer.

That's when she notices him. She's biting her nails then.

"What?" he asked. He drinks half his beer in a second.

"You always drink but you're never drunk. You're never angry either."

"Just because someone drinks doesn't make them a bad person," he tells her gently. "I know my limits and I know how to treat people."

There's silence then.

Rey turns away and shifts her focus back to the movie.

He doesn't do the same. He keeps his gaze on her. There was something about her. She makes him feel things that he's never felt before. When he was with her, he doesn't feel lonely.

If only she was older.

* * *

Over the course of the next few weeks, Ben notices a drift between his daughter and her friend. At first Lucy was excited to have her friend live with the but now she hates it. They don't talk the way like they used to. It wasn't like they were fighting to begin with and the fact makes it worse. Lucy goes out more and more and leaves Rey behind. Ben gets it though. It's a lot to handle especially when you're young. Lucy needs space. Lucy has so much animosity towards everything Rey is. Rey was independent and driven. Rey's been working ever since she was sixteen while going to school and takes care of herself. Lucy feels like she's being compared to whenever Rey does something great.

Ben wants to tell her that it isn't the case but he can't. He can't exactly explain to his daughter what he's feeling towards her friend.

"I think I should leave," Rey tells him.

They're watching a movie again and she thinks that this is the perfect time to say it.

"Me being here is ruining my friendship with Lucy," she swallowed hard.

Ben nodded. He feels that too and yet he couldn't help but to be sad. "Where will you go?"

"I have some money saved up. I think I should be fine."

"Can you wait to move out once you graduate? I don't want you to struggle especially during your last year."

"I don't think I should. I feel like the more I stay, the more she's going to hate me."

It was more than that. He's been helping her file a case against her dad and it's been taking a toll on Lucy. Lucy feels unimportant in this house which is not true. "Lucy's just at that age." He stopped himself. Rey was the same age as his daughter. Sometimes he forgets that.

"She'll never admit it but I know she hates even the tiniest bit of your attention go to someone else."

Rey got him there. He blames himself with the way he spoils his daughter. "She'll get over it soon enough. You're going through a lot and I can't just leave you."

"I can't stay," Rey shook her head. "I really can't." She gets up from the couch and heads to her room.

He follows her. She's already packing up when he gets there. "Don't," he pleads. "Please stay."

Rey winced as if he had hit her. There was something in the way he said those words as if he wanted her to stay for him. She shakes herself from her thinking space and continues to pack her things away.

He yanks away the folded clothes in her hands. "Please stay."

"I don't want to lose my friendship with Lucy. She means a lot to me." She picks up the discard items with ease.

His lips trembled. He holds her by her hands, attempting to stop her from packing up her belongings and leaving. He doesn't know her well but he knows the type of soul she had. She was the type of soul that wasn't afraid of being gone. She was the type of tragic soul that believed she was no one.

"Stop!"

His touch on her is soft.

"I don't want to ruin your relationship with your daughter."

Ben stiffened. She goes quiet as well. What she said wasn't the traditional way in telling someone you liked them but it didn't mean that her words didn't have any impact him. His fingers interlock with hers. She accepts them and squeezes tight. She's shaking so much, just like that night he tended to her. He lowered his head to her level and leaves a breath of space from one another.

This is wrong. He knows it but she takes him so willingly.

Her lips are a breath away from being kissed. He wants to inhale her and consume her. She will be the death of him but that was how he liked his women.

"I can't." She breaks apart from him. Shakily, she gathers her things again.

He grabs the sweater in her hands. She yanks back and before he knew it they're playing tug of war. He's so much stronger than her. With one pull she stumbles back. He tries to catch her but it happens so fast and he loses his balance. They fall on the bed, with him on top of her. She laid underneath him lifeless, her eyes flickering in a way that made his heart flutter for the first time. "Please stay," he whispered. He sounded so desperate.

She can feel his heart on hers and it's beating rapidly. He's so heavy but she liked the weight on her. She doesn't feel helpless underneath him. She feels whole for once. "Okay."

Ben exhaled and rests his face into the crook of her neck.

She lets him stay there. They both knew that this was the position that they belonged in. He breathes on to her skin, his hot breath makes her shiver. She paws at his hair as she felt his wet lips leave tender kisses on her throat. Rey tilted her head back and lets him find his way to her lips.


	2. Rey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> decided to continue this because it'll be fun to explore more between this dynamic plus Lucy's perspective.

The bed creaks with two people.

She has a twin size bed, it's not meant for two. There's no space for Ben to lay beside her so he was on top of her. The bed is too soft for his liking so his hands are on the headboard. He's humping her. As evident by her relaxed breaths, this was not the first time that they've done this. The bed is moving and it's being slammed against the wall over and over again. Good thing Lucy wasn't here or else Ben would have to be quiet.

Rey keeps her eyes on him, stays still in fascination as she watches his expressions change every few seconds. His face twists when he slows his pace. His teeth grits when he's pressing against her cunt. His face softens when he's experiencing pleasures. She has underwear on, always does. If she didn't, he would definitely be inside of her. He's picking up his pace again, clinging on to the headboard as his dick rubs against the thin wet material that's protecting her. Ben lets out a weak whimper and just like that, his lips are pressed against the crook of her neck. She shudders from the hotness of his breath. He's whispering something to her but she can barely comprehend him with his panting.

"What's wrong?" she asks quietly. He's slowing his pace and now he was collapsed on top of her. He feels much heavier on her when he was stationery. His body is heaving in and out, giving her moments of relief in between of being crushed by this massive man. She runs her fingers through his dark hair and presses a soft kiss. He's exhausted, he tired himself out and didn't even finish.

"I want to go inside," he breathes out.

Rey shook her head. "No," she whispered. "It's a little too soon."

Ben groaned but forced himself to nod. "I know," he sighed. "I know." He murmured softly as he felt her fingertips find his ears. He feels so much of a boy with her. He's nearly forty and yet he's subjected to dry humping her because she's not ready. He feels so much of a dog doing this but it feels good but it's not enough for him to not want to fuck her. He pushes himself up and kisses her temples lovingly.

She sighs in awe, giggles ever so slightly from the lightest of touch of his facial hair.

Of course with his luck he picked a virgin. He feels so much of a hypocrite, constantly discussing the importance of being abstinent to Lucy while he's constantly begging to his young girlfriend to sleep with him. Rey was not his daughter though. He shouldn't feel guilty.

They were adults - well, he was while Rey was just barely.

* * *

_She shouldn't be having feelings for her best friend's dad._

_Rey knows this. It was wrong but not more wrong with how good Mr. Solo looked for his age. This man was nearly forty but there was not a strand of white hair on his head, not even gray. He was just so handsome and cut all over. Even when he mainly wore long sleeves, she can see the definition of his body poking through. His muscles ripple naturally._

_It doesn't help that Mr. Solo is also really nice. He wasn't like other dads. He was really involved with his daughter's life. He helps out their school whenever he gets the chance and always ask if Lucy needs help with homework. Lucy hates it and finds it annoying but Rey thinks it's sweet. Mr. Solo really loved his daughter._

_She values her friendship with Lucy more than anything. She's not going to do anything - ever._

_Lucy's going on at lunch about a boy from her elective class again. Lucy's always work up on some new boy of the week. Rey nods and tries her best to listen. Lucy can go on for hours if Rey lets her. "He's so dreamy Rey!" Lucy cooed. "He asked me if I wanted to get some frozen yogurt with him tomorrow. I'm totally going."_

_"Yay," Rey responded, feigning excitement._

_"Is there any guy that caught your interest yet?" Lucy takes a bite of her food. She grimaced. "Ew. My dad made this crap again. I'm so sick of broccoli kale salad and dry ass chicken. I don't know why he just give me money for lunch."_

_Rey smiled. The image of Mr. Solo trying to decipher a recipe while wearing a frilly apron appeared before her. "Your dad just wants to make sure you're eating healthy. He is a doctor."_

_"Okay but one healthy meal doesn't balance out the rest of the day. My dad and I usually get take out for dinner and eat cereal and frozen waffles or pop tarts for breakfast."_

_Rey couldn't help but to laugh. "Your dad's trying. Give him some credit."_

_Lucy rolled her eyes. "Anyways that's not important. Is there any guy that you like?"_

_Rey picked at her food with her fork. She made herself chicken and rice with steamed broccoli and carrots. It was her go to meal prep whenever she didn't know what to make. "No," she replied simply._

_"Really? Still?" Lucy asked incredulously._

_She shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me."_

_"It should! It's our senior year! Prom! You kind of need someone."_

_Rey chuckled. "Do I?" she teased. "I'm perfectly fine going alone or being a third wheel."_

_"You are not going to be a third wheel! I'm going to try to pair you off while there's time."_

_"I'm fine," Rey laughed, brushing her friend off. "Besides I don't have any interest when I'm going to go out of state for college." She felt it was a waste of time to be dating when she knows long distance wasn't going to work out. Rey's perfectly content being left alone._

_"I'm not saying you should marry the guy or anything, just have someone to enjoy your senior year with. You can totally dump him after graduation. I'm doing that because my mom said to never go to college with a boyfriend. There's going to be so many other boys in college and you don't want to be tied down to the same old thing."_

_Rey bit her lip. It made sense in a way but the more Rey hears about Lucy's mom, the more of grasp Rey had that Lucy's mom was not a good person at all. Lucy's mom gave full custody to Mr. Solo. Rey understands that some relationships don't last but not the fact that someone could be so heartless with their own children. Lucy looks exactly like her mother too, blue eyes and wavy pale blonde hair. "I'm fine with being the funny friend."_

* * *

_Homecoming is approaching._

_It was bound to happen with it always being in late September. Lucy is still pestering at Rey for not having a date for it. Rey doesn't care much for it and has never gone to any dance either way. Rey doesn't want to go and gives the excuse that she can't afford it but it doesn't stop Lucy from dragging Rey with her to go dress shopping. Mr. Solo is roped in with them too since he's the one with the credit card._

_Rey is holding the stacks of dresses while Mr. Solo was trailing behind with their Starbucks drinks. Mr. Solo is a good sport about this though. He's patient and not at all grumpy like the other dads with their daughters._

_Rey and Mr. Solo find refuge in chairs while Lucy was trying out the dresses in the dressing room. Rey laughed as she watched Mr. Solo rubbed the creases on his forehead. "I have until prom until this is over," he joked. "I've been doing this with her since her middle school dances."_

_She laughed but for other reasons. "After that you'll have her wedding to worry about."_

_Ben groaned. "How could I forget?" he laughed then. "Did you pick out your dress already?" he runs his fingers through his hair. His hair looks so luscious, thick and silky. Must be nice to have beautiful hair._

_Rey shook her head. "No. I'm not going. It's too much of a workout for me," she laughs. She stops laughing when she sees his smile turn into a concern frown._

_"You're not going?"_

_"No," she said as if it was a question. "It's not a big deal or anything. I'm not really into dances."_

_"That's fair but you should go. It is your last year."_

_Rey shrugged. "I don't care much for it really. Maybe for Prom I'll go. Maybe."_

_Lucy comes out of the dressing room in a red tight dress that's clearly meant for clubbing. "Absolutely not," Ben points for her daughter to go back to the dressing room._

_"Dad!" Lucy groaned._

_"I agreed to pay for a dress, that's just a long tank top."_

_Rey suppressed herself from smiling. Lucy marches straight back in and doesn't come back until she has on a decent dress by parents' standards. The dress Lucy has on is nice, purple and sparkly with thick straps and hits at the knee. "That's nice," Rey commented._

_"That's much better," Ben agreed. "Honey, I'm surprised you didn't manage to convince Rey to go to Homecoming. You are very persuasive after all."_

_"She wants to go but she can't afford it," Lucy explained._

_Rey felt her ears grow hot. She tries her best to blend into the furniture._

_"Is that the reason?" Mr. Solo asked her. "I don't mind paying," he offered._

_"No, thank you but no. That's too much," Rey said immediately._

_"It's nothing. You should go -_

_"It's expensive -_

_"I know the cost," Mr. Solo chuckled. "And it's not too much."_

_Rey shook her head firmly. "No I can't accept. Thank you though."_

_Mr. Solo exchanged a mischievous smile with his daughter. Rey froze when she sees Lucy perk up and smile at her dad like a Cheshire cat. Before Rey could blink, Lucy's dragging Rey by the arm to check the selection of dresses._

_"I can't afford a dress either," Rey blushed. These dresses were at least sixty dollars and that's not even including shoes. She only owns three pairs of shoes: Converse, gym shoes, and flip flops. Where was a Forever 21 when you needed it?_

_"My dad brought his credit card for a reason," she said cheerfully. She's rummaging through all of the dresses, trying to find the perfect one for Rey. Ever so often Lucy pulled out a dress and held up next to Rey to check if it will go with her skin._

_"Yes but for you." Rey glanced over and sees Mr. Solo in the chair contently on his phone. Rey slouched her shoulders. That could have been her but now she's forced into being Lucy's Barbie doll for the rest of the day._

_Lucy glossed that over. "Yes but you're my friend and that counts."_

**_OoOoOoO_ **

_After three hours of nonstop window shopping, Lucy finally lets them have lunch. They go to some overpriced restaurant called Lemonade. Mr. Solo pays for everyone and Rey hates it. "You didn't have to pay," Rey said despite thanking him seconds beforehand._

_Mr. Solo brushes it off. He takes a sip of his blueberry lemonade and makes a face. "This sucks. This is not worth five dollars."_

_Rey studies the food that Lucy ordered for them. Truffle mac and cheese. Fancy sandwiches of three different types. And ahi poke. Rey's stomach churned. This must have been at least sixty dollars too because Lucy all ordered them a lemonade each. It makes her sick the way Lucy burns money and the way her dad's okay with it. Rey doesn't say anything though and only thanks them again before taking a bite of her food._

_Lucy still hasn't found a dress for herself or for Rey yet. Apparently Rey doesn't have a say in any of this._

_The food is tasty but not worth the price._

_She wishes there was a burger joint in this fancy mall. By the way Mr. Solo keeps poking at his food, Rey can tell he's thinking the same._

_Lucy drags Rey to another store once they finished their lunch. Mr. Solo is behind them, now solely responsible for holding dresses and bags. Rey hates this with a passion. She doesn't know what to do, she feels powerless. She doesn't want to be rude to either Solo. They were only being kind in their pushy way._

_Lucy is settled with a pale blue halter dress for Rey. It goes a little pass her knee and fits just right. There are folds to the skirt and there's even side pockets. She likes it because the skirt is loose and flowy too. It's simple and modest and Rey doesn't have to worry about pulling her dress up the whole night. Lucy makes Rey stay inside the dressing room while Lucy went off for finishing touches. She makes Rey put on glittery silver heels and dangling silver earrings. Rey tucks in her bra straps to see how the dress looks while Lucy pulls Rey's hair up into a high bun. "Aw yes, this is the dress for you. Rey like and cute. Just need some makeup and lipstick to match." Lucy grabs Rey by wrist. "Come on, let's show my dad first before he finds out how much all of this cost."_

_Rey held her breath. She's wearing a fortune and she feels guilty._

_"Dad," Lucy says his name like velvet. "Doesn't Rey look pretty?"_

_Mr. Solo looks up from his phone. He scans Rey up and down intently. She stiffened. She can tell he's mentally calculating the cost. His lips twitched. Rey wanted to run away. She doesn't want to be involved with the matters of money._

_"Daddy," Lucy tries again but in a child's voice. "Doesn't she look pretty?" Lucy whispered to Rey then, "Come on, try to smile. We're trying to sell this to him."_

_Rey tries but it's hard when she feels the tension between Lucy and her dad._

_"Yes she does sweetheart." He tries to look away at Rey but he keeps his focus on her as if he was transfixed. A blush developed on her face. He's still looking at her up and down. He must be contemplating over the cost._

_"Really?" Lucy keeps up the baby voice._

_"You're right. She looks very pretty."_

_"It's expensive but you want her to look nice right?"_

_Rey's heart was beating rapidly._

_Ben nodded. "Of course I do sweetheart. That's not a problem."_

* * *

_Neck kisses leads into their first kiss._

_Rey lets out a little yelp. She's completely embarrassed about it while he's chuckling. It's so intimate, to be facing him as he's kissing her. It was one thing to be under him but to have eye contact too? Rey shuts her eyes then. "I want to see you," he pleads. He tucks her hair to the side. "I want you to look at me too."_

_Rey shook her head. "No - it's so embarrassing."_

_"Why is that?"_

_"I blush a lot."_

_"I like that though."_ _He rubs his thumb against her cheek before kissing her again on the mouth._ _His touches are tender. She's never been touched like this before. "You're so pretty. I just want to look at you forever."_

_She hides her face into his neck. "No."_

_"Yes you are." He contorts himself so he can see her face again. Her eyes fluttered open, cheeks stained in red. Ben's smiling at her in a way all girls wanted to be smiled at. With adoration. Endearment. She's never been looked like that before and it eases herself back to him. He coaxes her to another kiss. She happily accepts, lets him part her mouth. They kiss to what feels like forever. She wants it to be forever. It felt so right kissing him but she_ _pulls away._

_He still kisses her, letting out a pleading whimper for her not to stop. She forces herself to shake her head despite how hard it was. They shouldn't have done that. Especially with the door left wide open. What if Lucy walked in? Her cheeks flushed and she's gathering her breath that he took away. Mr. Solo doesn't make it any better when he was such a good kisser. She's been kissed a handful of times but never liked this._

_"What's wrong?" he asked quickly. He lowers himself to her temples again, staring attentively at her. "Was that not good -_

_"No it was more than good," she blushed deeply. "It's just we -_

_"Was I too forward?" He looks so flustered. This giant man, stuttering and everything and worried about her well being._

_Rey nodded, unable to hide her pleased smile. She couldn't help but awe at the man before him. He's so suddenly nervous after kissing her. "Yeah," there's fondness in her tone. Arousal. Neck kisses that trailed into their first kiss? His hands in her hair and at her waist? She was wet from the intimacy of it and the way he just knew what he was doing. She hadn't gotten stimulated from a kiss since her first kiss three years ago. "We should first...talk about this."_

_Mr. Solo blushes then as logic registers back to him. "Oh yeah," he clears his throat. "We should."_

_She sat up then and so did he. "Do I have any hickeys?"_

_Mr. Solo blinked. Her throat and shoulder was purple all over. He can see his teeth marks embedded. He didn't realize he marked her skin._

_"Does it look bad?"_

_He bit his lip, unable to pull away. "Um...No."_

_"You hesitated."_

_"Sorry," he murmured. "I'll buy you some makeup to cover it up. Let me grab a beer first before we discuss things."_

_Rey nodded, unable to not stare at the bulge in his pants. Rey knows it's rude but it's impossible not to look at it. He's wearing dark pants that were a thick sturdy material, not thin cotton sweatpants. And yet she can perfectly see the outline of his hard dick. She did that. He catches her eyes and blood rushes all over his body instead of that one body part._

_"Do you um, want a beer?"_

_"I'm eighteen."_

_"Right," his voice became hoarse. Kissing his daughter's friend was one thing but to condone underaged drinking? What was he thinking? Oh yeah, he wasn't. He was basically dry humping her the whole time. Ben was anxious as hell and needed something to drink to swallow down their discussion. Ben comes back with a beer in his hand. He sits besides her, his foot shaking nervously._

_"So um - I um, what should I call you?"_

_"Call me Ben when we are alone." He clutches firmly on to his beer._

_Rey nodded. "Are we...dating now?"_

_"Of course I don't fool around or anything - are you okay with us dating -_

_"I am," she says immediately. Her face is all hot. "When was the last time you were with someone?"_

_"I've dated here and there when my divorce was being finalized but other than that, haven't in a while - have you dated?" Ben held his breath. He can feel his soul jumping out of skin._

_"I went on a few dates but I never had a boyfriend."_

_"Shit." He takes a sip of his beer. Takes it like a shot. Ben wishes he was drinking something stronger. Like vodka. Makes it even worse when his own daughter had two boyfriends._

_Rey blinked. She never heard him curse before._

_"How far have you...gone?"_

_"Just kissing," she admitted, blushing even more. God this conversation was so awkward. She feels it, him interrogating her level of experience. It shouldn't be a big deal but it was to him. It shouldn't even matter._

_"No touching?" he raised his eyebrow._

_Rey shook her head, watching his face crumple up. "No."_

_Ben cursed underneath his breath. He takes another drink. It makes it even worse that his daughter had more experience than her. He feels like he's reliving the whole traumatizing moment again when he had walked in to his daughter having sex last year._

_"Is that a problem?"_

_"No -no it's... just," he paused. Ben gulps down half of his beer. He would drink the whole thing but he has to ration it for more of this dreadful conversation. "You have no idea how hard you are making this for me." She hadn't lost her virginity yet. He feels so much of a predator. Rey should be going out with boys her age, not with an old man like him._

_"I'm sorry," she bit her lip._

_"There's nothing to be ashamed about. You're so young." Ben winced from his own words. He sets his beer on her nightstand and reaches for her. He pressed a soft kiss on her forehead. "I'm too old for you, you know that." He was twenty one years older than her._

_She tilted her head down and stared at the floor._

_Ben frowned. She's quiet and pale. He hates himself. He shouldn't have kissed her. She's hurt now because of him. He hovered her, waiting for her next response. "I'm a whole person older than you that's legally allowed to drink," he reminded her._

_Rey nodded softly. "I know," she whispered, agreeing with him. Her eyes met his again, unwavering._

_She was taking it so well. God she wasn't making this easier on him. It would be better if she talked back or threw a fit but she wasn't. She was being so mature about it, acting way beyond her age. Somehow this didn't make him feel any better. She was actually being understanding and was listening. Ben's not used to this. All the women of his life never was like this. Not his mother, girlfriends, ex-wife, or his own daughter. "You have so much of your life ahead of you," he continued, swallowing hard._

_"I do." Her voice is still leveled as ever and she was calm. Her eyes are warm and inviting as always. Somehow this didn't make him better. He feels worse. She's not even trying to change his mind. Why would she? Ben asked himself. She has so much to look forward to. She was going to go to college soon and on a full scholarship too. She's going to go away from this simple place and from her father. Her life is going to so much better, she's going to make something of herself. Make a difference._

_"I want to remarry and have one more child before I get too old," he states then in hesitation. He bit his lip at the realization. Him stating this wasn't for her, it was for him. He was trying to convince himself that this was for the best. Ben can't, he can't. He can't ruin her life. "Hopefully a boy this time - since I already have a girl - I-I would like to have a boy," he stammered._

_Rey gives him a genuine smile and chuckled. "I hope you do get a boy," she means it, means every word. "I just want you to be happy." She reaches for his hand and squeezes it gently._

_He stared at her hand, how small it was. His hand is so large, he can cover hers completely. And so he does. A small smile crept upon his face at the sight, at the confirmation but the smile doesn't last for long. He senses a change of mood. He swallowed hard and his eyes flickered back to her._

_She looks so sad. There were no tears in her eyes as if she had took some time to mourn._

_His lips trembled. He shook his head automatically._

_Rey gave him a reassuring nod. "It's okay," she whispered. "It's okay."_

_…._

_…._

_…._

_She's not going to college anymore._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pushover Dad Ben is my new aesthetic <3


	3. Grace

There's a lot of photos of Grace.

Not in the house but in Lucy's room. Rey shouldn't be bothered by it. After all Grace was still Lucy's mother. She tries to avoid the room but it was impossible given the fact that Lucy liked privacy away from her father. They were in the room. Lucy's painting her nails and telling Rey about the latest celebrity scandal. In the background a teen romcom Netflix film is on. Rey is nodding and listening while eating buttered popcorn.

Every now and then, her eyes drift to the picture frames of Lucy and her mom. Grace was a beautiful woman, tall and blonde with striking features. Lucy looked exactly liked her mom. "When's the last time your mom called you?" Rey asked. She's not threatened by Lucy's mom. Ben was over Grace but Rey was curious about the woman that left him.

Lucy blew on her nails nonchalantly. She painted her nails a candy apple red. "Mmm like a month ago...or something. I don't know. She's busy."

"Oh." Rey bit her lip. Grace also left Lucy too. "Do you miss her?"

She laughed then as if Rey said something stupid. "Well like yeah. She's my mom, Rey."

Rey proceeded to eat her popcorn then. She doesn't want to ask anymore personal questions. She doesn't want to hurt Lucy - but she couldn't help but to wonder how Lucy truly feels about her parents' divorce. Grace gave full custody to Ben. They still had to go to court to convince the judge to grant him full custody since automatically full custody is usually given to the mother. Her mother gave Lucy away - there has to be no way that Lucy was okay with it. Her mother was fine not having equal custody or time with her daughter. Maybe Rey wasn't a strong person like Lucy because if Rey was in the same situation, she would never forgive her mother. Even though things with Rey and her father weren't ideal, he was still fighting for her. Even though her father hits her, he still wants her.

Sometimes, it's hard to go into Lucy's room.

It wasn't enough that Rey was secretly dating her best friend's father but to be surrounded by photos of her best friend's mother made her feel uneasy. Of course Lucy had pictures of her mother in her room. Lucy couldn't exactly have the photos out in other places in the house because it was a sensitive matter for Ben. But sometimes it makes Rey feel sad to know how much Lucy loves her mom and yet her mom abandoned her.

* * *

"Are you doing anything next Friday night?" he asks her.

Rey looks up. She was washing the dishes while Ben was drying them. Lucy was in the shower to get ready to go out with her new boyfriend. "I'm going to volunteer at the nursing home," Rey said simply. "They're going to have a dance there and I'm going to help decorate."

"Is there any possible way you can reschedule that?" Ben paused as he sees her give him a soft scowl. He frowns back at her meekly realizing how much he was asking for her. "I want to take you out on a date," he explaind. He smiles back at her feebly. "A real date, no sessions in the room and takeout. I want to take you out somewhere nice."

She blushes then and stops washing the dishes altogether. She couldn't help but to be pleased.

Ben smiles at her gently. "It'll be our first date."

"I can do Saturday."

"I don't think Lucy has any plans Saturday. Wouldn't she ask you where you were?"

Rey smiles. "I know she'll have plans. She always does."

He frowned. "I don't like the sound of that. Should I be concerned?"

Rey suppressed a chuckle and hands him a dish to change the subject. Lucy was still her best friend and Rey has to look out for her. One of the most sacred roles was to keep your best friend's secrets, especially from their father. No matter how cute he was. "So this date are we going to meet each other at the place or?"

"I can pick you up," he gives her a lopsidded smile. "I'll knock at your bedroom door at six."

"I think it'll be cute for us to meet each other at the destination."

"You don't have a car. I feel better driving you. I won't have to worry if you made there safely or not."

"I'm completely capable of taking a bus or an uber."

He shakes his head at her. "No," he smiles at her. "Not going to let you." He scoops her off the floor. She squeals in delight as he kisses her. Rey hooks her arms around his neck and sighs softly to the air. He kisses her again. "It'll still be a nice date, I promise."

* * *

Ben doesn't know how it happened but Rey convinces him to meet her at the restaurant. It's six twenty. She's supposed to be here at six. He's worried and rightfully so. He called her and texted her but she didn't respond. He's sitting down tapping his fingers on the table as he waited. He tugs at the collar of his shirt and contemplates on unbuttoning the top button. It's not that it's too tight it's just when he's nervous, he fidgets.

He doesn't like it one bit. It would be one thing if they met nearby but they have to be careful with Lucy finding out. And so the restaurant was an hour and a half away by freeway. He's worried that Rey got lost given the multiple routes she has take to get here. He doesn't know how she convinced him to meet here separately.

Ben calls her again but it goes straight to voicemail. He tries calling her again but then he sees her rushing in. He never misses her chocolate brown hair. His heart relaxes and as his blood pressure lowered. Casually and coolly, he waves at her to gather her and the waiter's attention.

The waiter takes her to him.

He's thankful that he decides on this restaurant. It was a five star restaurant and no one they know will be here. This was an extravagant place and he feels safe being with her. No one's judging them either for she's not the only young woman here.

She grins at him, adjusting the length of her dress as she took off her long coat. Ben held his breath. The dress wasn't what she usually wore - loose and flowy. Instead, it was form fitting and green to compliment her hazel eyes. Ben's not used to seeing her wearing something that showed off her figure in that way. She usually wore soft muted colors and at least knee length but not tonight. She has something bold and short. "You look pretty," he tells her, clearing his throat. He's already standing up to hold out her chair for her. Her hair is down and in relaxed waves.

Rey blushed as she tucked a loose lock behind her ear. "Thanks - sorry I'm late. I got lost," she said feebly.

"It's alright but I'm taking you home tonight." His eyes darkened as he saw her cheeks flushed a deeper shade of pink.

* * *

Ben takes her out for frozen yogurt after dinner because that's what she wants. He suppressed a smile watching her eyes lit up at all the options. She mainly gets toppings than actual yogurt. She fills her cup with mainly candy and bite sized baked goods. Ben doesn't say a word, doesn't want to tease her. He does chuckle though when he sees the shoes she chose to wear. Flats.

He puts his arm around her as she went through the options. He settled with plain frozen yogurt with some strawberries and kiwi. Ben added a sprinkle of chocolate chips so he won't seem boring. He kisses her cheek as he paid and she gleams. She goes on her toes to kiss him on the mouth. He couldn't help but to smirk. The cashier must be stunned with how young she was. Maybe even mistaken her for his daughter.

"Do you want to eat here or in the car?"

"In the car is fine," she said as she took a bite of her dessert. "My feet hurt and I kinda want to take off my shoes," she whispered shyly.

Ben laughs. "Okay."

He turns on the heater for her so she can be comfortable. She doesn't hesitate to kick off her flats and wrap her coat like a blanket. Ben eats with her but not as much. He can't help but to be more interested in her. She was adorable. Rey stopped and turned to him. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah," he smiled. He touches her hair and smooths out the hair that was out of place. He would love to help keep her warm but he doesn't want to be too forward and ruin the night. "You're cute that's all."

"I noticed I got way more yogurt than you," she blushed.

"It's alright. There's nothing wrong with that," Ben chuckled. Rey gets embarrassed so easily. He couldn't help but to find it amusing. "We're going to go on a walk on the pier afterwards." He leans to kiss her painted lips.

Her phone rings.

Ben swallowed hard and his eyes lowered. He already knows who's calling her.

"It might be important," she said as she broke away. "What should I tell her if she asks where I am?"

The ringing seems to get louder in the background. He bit his lip and thought about what to say. They were not nearby and Rey was dressed up. They didn't think this through. He doesn't think quick enough for Rey's already picking up the phone. Ben remained quiet as he hears his daughter on the phone talking a hundred miles per second. Ben sets aside their dessert and stroked her fingers to settle her nerves. He knows well that she won't be able to eat after the call was over.

"Sorry, I can't. I'm busy," Rey said calmly. "I'm volunteering right now - no I can't just leave and rush over."

Lucy hangs up then.

He waits a few seconds to make sure the call ended. "What happened?" he asked. He already knows it wasn't good. Rey was pale and clutching on to his hand. His heart skipped a beat. "Is Lucy alright?" he sits up straight.

"She got into a fight with her boyfriend. She wanted me to pick me up and go with her to get some burgers and talk about it. She's mad that I can't."

"I could have driven you there if you wanted. It may not be right away but in an hour or so."

Rey shook her head. "No - it's fine. I wanted to spend time with you," she gave him a small smile.

"You know how much I would love that," he said as he kissed her hand. "But we should really head back home just in case she decides to come home early and look for us. Besides I don't think you'll be able to enjoy the rest of the night not being there for her."

She blinked. "Are you okay with that?"

"Of course," he smiled. Ben touched her face and kissed her again. "I already told you. I won't ever make you decide between me and Lucy."

* * *

Everything seems fine from a distance but up close is completely different.

Rey discovers this as she's on top of him for the first time. They're fully clothed in his bed this time and they don't have any intentions of sex. Everything was still in the air. Uncertain. They were kissing, cuddling and all and in the moment he puts her on top of him. This startles her, the abruptness of it and how he's able to lift her with ease even at a relaxed comatose state. He's so strong and it's terrifying to her.

She couldn't help but to break the kiss.

He stops. And stares at her. In bewilderment.

There's dead silence.

Only seconds before they were giddy and playful and now that tone has faded. Rey bit her lip and sat up on top of him. The swell in his pants goes down as he watches her entire body become still.

His gaze is on her, attentive as ever. "Hey," he said softly, trying to bring her back to earth.

Rey forced herself to smile. "Hey," she responded back. Her voice sounded so hallow.

"What's wrong?" he asked, remaining gentle with her as ever. He reaches for her hand to comfort her.

Rey shook her head. "It's - It's nothing," she assured. Her eyes became transfixed by his face, by this new perspective. He looks old. She can see the lines that lace his face and the bits of gray in his hair. And some white. Did he always look like this? She went pale as her body tensed. He was really older than her. Does she really want to do this? Be with someone that not only could be her father but who was also her friend's father? Does she really want to do this? Put college on hold and lose her virginity to a man who was almost forty and have his baby? This doesn't feel right anymore.

Ben's eyes flickered at her thoughts that were written all over her face. "I see."

Rey blinked. She opened her mouth but nothing came out.

He gave her a small smile. "It's alright," he assured her. He shifted his head and kept his stare on her. She looked so pretty in this light. "I just want you to be happy."

She gets off of him and sits up on the bed. He sits beside her, leaving space between them. Distance. Her whole chest constricted. It really hurts, hurting such a kind man. She really likes him, she really does. Ben frowned and swallowed hard because he sees it, he really does. "I'm really sorry," she breathed. Tears are prickling down her cheeks. "I just can't. I don't want to ruin my friendship with Lucy. I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," his voice broke then. "Don't. Be."

* * *

When Ben's marriage was over, he drank a lot to cope.

He doesn't have the urge to with Rey. Because it doesn't feel over. It just feels like a pause. She just needs some time alone, some space. And Ben gives that to her. He knows that this is overwhelming for her. It would have been easier if he was ten years younger. It would have been easier if Lucy was younger. He knows that Lucy was holding Rey back. It is odd, dating someone the age of your daughter and it was even odder that she's also your daughter's best friend. But there is something between them. He's never felt this way about anyone before. He just wants to latch on to her and never let her go. He doesn't want her for sex or to feel young. If he wanted those things he could find it in other younger girls. Ben just wants her.

He still treats her the way things were before and does his best to make her feel welcomed. As crazy as it was, he has good feeling with her. She will come around, he senses it. They're going to get married after her graduation and they're going to start their family right away too. She doesn't have to throw away college. She can take classes until she gives birth. She can take online classes to stay on track during the first year with the baby and they can get a sitter too.

Ben swallowed hard. It's a lot to ask from her. Selfish. She wants to go to her dream college but she can't do that if she's with him. Ben wants her close and he can't exactly move again. His mother needed him after the death of his father. Ben can pay for Rey's schooling at the state university but he doesn't want her to have to settle. Rey worked so hard to get into her dream college.

He just wants her to be happy.

* * *

There was something wrong with Dad.

He hasn't been himself the last several days. Lucy's seen him depressed before but never like this. She's been trying to talk to him and help him but he keeps up with the façade that everything was fine. Lucy knew better though. Every time he comes back from work, he mainly locks himself in his room. She's been keeping track of how much he drinks too and he hasn't even opened up a case yet. Lucy knows something's terribly bad is happening when Dad's not drinking.

Maybe Mom's been trying to talk to Dad again. Maybe something's wrong at work. Or maybe there was something wrong with grandma. Whatever it was, she knows Dad won't tell her what's wrong until he was ready. That's just how he was. He was stubborn and there was nothing you could do but wait.

There was something wrong with Rey too. She doesn't seem all there either. Lucy doesn't know who to go to. Something wasn't right. They both put up an act that everything was fine but Lucy sees right through.

"Dad," Lucy called out for him.

"Yeah?" he paints a smile. He looks so tired. She wondered if he's been sleeping at all. "What is it sweetheart?"

"I think something's wrong with Rey."

Dad went still. "What's wrong with Rey?"

"I don't know. She usually tells me everything but not this time. I think her dad's trying to talk to her again."

"What makes you think that?"

"She's been crying in her room every day."

He bit his lip and exhaled. "Oh. That's not good."

Lucy shook her head. "No it's not. I try to talk to her but she doesn't want to talk about it. I think it's too personal for her. Maybe she'll be able to open up to you since you're an adult. Can you try talking to her later tonight when you come back from work?"

Dad shakes his head. "I think she needs some time alone first."


End file.
